How to Stop Blaming Others and Get Rid of Resentments

Published: 09th April 2009
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Copyright (c) 2009 Wee Dilts



Introduction



Webster defines blame as to find fault with, to hold responsible. You can readily see, if you are blaming someone else for your life, you are not taking responsibility. Blame is connected to the concept of responsibility for action, omission or a trait of character. So if you are blaming others, how can you be responsible? All blaming others can accomplish, is to give you an excuse to fail. No one is responsible for your life. You are.



If you want to live your life differently, then you need to build a firm foundation. Think of it as building a house. You wouldn't dream of putting up the framework without first pouring the foundation. So if you're going to build a solid foundation for your life you must stop the blame game today. A foundation with blame in it will crack and cause your beautiful blueprint for living will crumble. Blame is a negative judgment of a person. It carries with it a bad attitude. So before you pour the foundation you must get rid of blaming anyone for anything.



Let's look at the five footers for your spiritual foundation.



1. Decide to change. The hardest part of changing is making the decision to change.



2. Clean the lot by clearing up the wreckage of the past. Take a personal inventory.



3. Put in the footers. You have to stop blaming others. To build a really firm foundation you'll need to stop blaming others. You just have to grow up and get over presumed misdeeds of others.



An old Danish Proverb says, "Blame is a lazy man's wage."



Steps to follow



Start the foundation by letting go of blame and resentments. Write down everyone you think did you wrong. It could be your Mother, Father, Siblings, Lovers, and all others. Make two columns. In column one write down the people you blame and in column two, why you blame them.



Release everyone Find a quiet place, close your eyes and Repeat, "I no longer blame _____________ for_____________________________. I forgive her, I release her and I no longer blame her for my life."



Take your time with this. Take as many days as you need. Repeat the process until you feel relief. You'll know when you've truly released the blame because You'll feel a sense of peace.



Buddha says, "Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace."



Do no more than one person a day. Continue with your list until you have released everyone. After you've released everyone from blame, you need to rid yourself of resentments. Then you're ready to pour a firm foundation for your new life. Smooth the foundation, until all blame and resentment are gone. Do it right. This is the foundation for your new life. Let it set, develop a habit of daily meditation and spiritual reading. Check to see if you're still blaming others: Do you: Blame traffic for being late to the dentist? Or do you blame yourself for not allowing extra time for your drive? Do you blame stress for your extra weight? Or do you blame yourself for what you eat and not exercising? Do you blame others for a lousy day? Or do you blame your attitude? When things go wrong. Look within to find out what went wrong.



Catherine Pulsifer says it well, "Fix the Problem, not the blame."



Whatever happens in your life, you are responsible. Your thinking controls your life. If you harbor fears and negativity then you life will manifest corresponding negativity. If you maintain thoughts of joy and positivity, your life will manifest positive things. This is not a theory; it is truth. Until you stop blaming others for your life, you will never be able to produce the sort of Blueprint for Living you want.



Blame and resentment stop you from becoming. Your mind and your thoughts are the most magnificent building tools there are. You are constantly building your life. But is the life you're building the one you want? If not, than get busy ridding yourself of resentments and blame. Your can pour the best foundation in the world but if you then go in and chip away at the wet concrete with fears, doubt, blame and resentments. It will crumble and it will never be able to support the Blueprint you designed



4. Get rid of all resentments The big books of Alcoholics anonymous puts resentments in perspective with this bold statement, "The business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when we harbor such feelings we shut out the sunshine of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die." A very damning statement, which demonstrates that you cannot improve your life without ridding yourself of resentments. You may have stopped blaming; but did you let go of the resentment? Sit quietly and repeat "I no longer hold any resentment toward _______________. I know they are not responsible for my life. I am. I release them and bless them." Repeat this until you feel the sense of release. Take as many days as you need. You cannot continue with you foundation until you have released all blame and resentment from your life.



5. Keep it all in place with daily meditation and accepting responsibility for your life. When you slide back into the old pattern of blame and resentment, quickly catch yourself and switch to accepting responsibility and change your thinking immediately.



Summary



Remember when you point the finger of blame at someone, there are three fingers pointing back at you. Think about that next time you want to blame someone for your woes. Henry David Thoreau, "If you have built castles in the air, you work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."





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Wee Dilts is a teacher, counselor, psychologist and trainer of meta physical and life training programs. Get your Free Self Improvement tips at http://www.artnbookstore.com


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